#pink sausage unit

[peppermintquartz]

"Evan?"

"Yes, babe?"

"Were you ever interested in Eddie?"

Buck nearly chokes on his juice. Coughing, he waves aside Tommy's startled concern. "Uh, I kinda need to. Okay. Are we talking in general or, like, specifically romantic attraction? Sexual attraction?"

Tommy shrugs. He's still shirtless at the moment, which means the morning light gilds his chest (and chest hair) in gold and bronze. Buck has seen this sight for months now, and he still utters a silent thanks to God for making Tommy's nipples ultra sensitive.

"Evan?" The older man tilts his head quizzically.

Oh, right. Buck sits back in his chair. "I guess I did kinda feel some way about him when he first showed up? I mean, he's good-looking. And he has very pretty eyes."

Tommy is chewing on a bite of sausage. "So how come you never made a move on him?"

"I don't know. Never thought about it, really. I mean, once he showed me Christopher, I just wanted to know more about the kid." Buck takes another careful sip of his guava juice. "And after that, either I was dating someone or he was dating. We were just punks trying to get through our own stuff. I never even considered it." He frowns at Tommy. "Why? What's got you asking?"

Tommy glances at his scrambled eggs and shifts in his seat. "Last night, when I was out with Hen and Chimney, they talked about you two being best buds. And Hen said that she'd thought you two would've made a cute couple." His cheeks flush a dark pink. "That was after several rounds of drinks, but, uh, it stuck in my head."

Feeling annoyed at Hen, Buck reaches under the table to pat Tommy's knee, knowing that it will be restlessly bouncing. His boyfriend, Mr Tommy "So Cool" Kinard, needing Buck's reassurance before he can once again be at ease in his skin. It makes Buck feel warm and protective.

"Maybe only in appearance," says Buck, thinking through the issue. "But our personalities would clash if we dated, I think. I mean, I'm not good at giving people space. I'd have smothered him by week two. You don't mind telling me if you need to be alone for a bit, and I like that you always let me know when you're ready to be us again. I don't think Eddie would ever say that until he's fed up, and then he'd shout it or give me the cold shoulder."

"You two seem to do well together as a unit though. And you love Christopher."

"Christopher is lovable because of who he is, not because I know his dad," Buck says, a little sharply. He squeezes Tommy's knee. It stops moving. "Eddie and I are best friends, and we love each other. But... I've seen him almost die, twice, and I would think that if I felt romantic love for him, that would have been the moment, you know? Buried in mud. Almost losing him to a bullet. But all I felt was terror of losing a friend I trust, and having to tell Chris about it if the worst happened."

Buck can't hide the tremor in his voice, and now it's Tommy's turn to hold his hand.

"I'm sorry you both had to go through that," Tommy says sincerely, his gaze soft.

Taking a deep breath, Buck exhales and smiles at his boyfriend. "With you, I just wanted to, I don't know, I was curious about you, about everything that had to do with you. I thought I only wanted to be your friend, and yet I was so upset after Eddie and you took off to watch the fight in Vegas, I kinda... Well, I was actually angry at Eddie, looking back on it. Irrationally so. I've never felt that sort of jealousy. And, yes, I did think it was because of Eddie that I was jealous, but the moment I saw you on the basketball court I wasn't angry at you at all. I was... Well, I was happy to see you."

Tommy chuckles. "I was trying not to show how happy I was to see you there too."

"So, yeah," says Buck. "Long roundabout way to say that yes, I did think Eddie is attractive, because I have eyes, but I've never felt giddy and light the way I do when you smile at me. Both of you make me happy, in different ways." He leans over to peck a kiss on Tommy's stubbled cheek. "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

Tommy relaxes. "No, I am." He takes Buck by the chin, exactly how he did it that first time, and draws Buck in for a proper kiss. "Thank you. Didn't know I needed to hear that until I did."

"I'm glad you asked," says Buck, "instead of stewing over it until it drives you mad. And I'll always be honest with you, okay? I promise."

"Ditto," replies Tommy, kissing Buck again, just because.

--

edited on AO3

[veritas-scribblings]

stare - @bartylusmicrofic - words: 859

[inspired by @aurorboros's post]

Regulus wakes up to a quiet, dimly lit dormitory. The morning light is visible through the windows, illuminating the water within the Great Lake. Evan is dead to the world, having burrowed his way into his blankets, which he has wrapped around himself like a cocoon. Barty, as always, has woken up with the sun and is nowhere to be found.

Without Barty, Regulus’s bed feels cold. After so many years of Barty climbing into bed with him, sleeping alone always feels empty and strange. He misses the warmth of Barty—Barty always runs so warm—and the weight of Barty’s body next to him, draped over him.

Exhausted and with a head full of what feels like wild, raging pixies, Regulus grabs the jersey draped over the end of his bed and pulls it on. The jersey is navy blue and gold with the Puddlemere United logo on the front and BARTY 73 written across the back in big, bold lettering. Regulus had gifted Barty this jersey for Christmas back in their second year. At the time, he’d had it made several sizes too big as he had wanted Barty to be able to wear it for a long, long time.

It had basically been a dress on Barty for a while, though it had still been a consistent feature in his wardrobe. On the weekend. In the evening. To class, where he’d ended up with several detentions for being out of uniform. Barty had worn it every chance he’d gotten until Dorcas had commented that if he keeps it up, the jersey will fall to bits.

Now, three years later, the jersey finally fits Barty appropriately as he’d shot up like a bean pole over the summer. On Regulus, however, the jersey hangs around his torso, draping down slightly on his shoulders. It smells wonderfully like Barty: musky and woody with an undertone of spice. And something else, something very, very Barty that Regulus can only describe as a scent that is distinctly male.

Regulus tugs on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and stumbles upstairs. Dorcas and Barty are sitting alone by the fireplace in the common room, Barty with his back resting against Dorcas and his legs propped up on the arm rest. There’s a small spread of food on the coffee table because Barty, Slytherin’s resident insomniac, has befriended the house elves. Though Barty is under the impression that they’re thrilled to feed him whatever he wants, Regulus suspects that they just give him the food to get rid of him.

‘Morning.’ Regulus yawns, drops himself down onto the couch next Barty and grabs one of the breakfast rolls of the platter. It’s stuffed with sausage and fried egg and mushrooms and black pudding and hash browns and every possible kind of food that will clog their arteries and cause a young death.

Regulus turns to Barty, frowning. Early morning, Barty is normally wired from too much coffee and lack of sleep and hours left up to his own devices with no one awake to keep him company. Shutting him up is the problem Regulus will typically have to deal with, not whatever is currently missing within Barty’s brain.

Barty blinks back at Regulus. His cheeks are a little bit pink. His eyes are wide, his lips parted in an expression that Regulus can’t quite puzzle out.

‘You’re…’ The sentence ends, like Barty is at a loss for words. ‘You’re…’

Inclining his head quizzically, Regulus takes another bite of the breakfast roll. After all the drinking they’d done the night before, the fatty meat and crunchy hash browns and crusty bread cut through the remnants of his prior buzz quite nicely.

‘You’re…’ Barty repeats. Grease and brown sauce drips from his breakfast roll down his fingers, but he doesn’t seem to notice. ‘My…’

Next to Barty, Dorcas snorts and shoves him off her. Barty goes tumbling to the side, his breakfast roll falling to the floor. He doesn’t even seem to notice. His gaze never leaves Regulus. There’s a smear of brown sauce on his lips that Regulus wouldn’t mind licking off. If he didn’t think that Dorcas would shove him off the couch for such a public display of affection.

‘So intelligent, they tell me,’ Dorcas says, peering over at Barty, ‘and yet, not a candle lit in the house. What Bartemius is trying to say is—’ She pauses and waits for a reaction from Barty who notoriously loathes the use of his full name, but Barty still doesn’t speak. And then, with a roll of her eyes, she explains, ‘Lil’ Boo’s malfunctioning because of your choice of attire.’

Regulus looks down at the jersey he’s wearing.

‘You’re…wearing…my top,’ Barty finally breathes out weakly. ‘Why?’

Regulus shrugs. ‘Because I can,’ he says before taking another bite out of his breakfast roll and chewing slowly, just to make Barty wait for the rest of his thought. It’s kind of nice, Regulus thinks, watching the way Barty is unable to string together a coherent sentence. The realisation that it is Regulus who has done this to Barty. ‘I like that it smells like you.’

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"The Commander's Omega"

Rated: Explicit

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Tags: alpha/omega, dystopia, sex slavery, forced breeding, mutilation, rape, corporal punishment, fascism, hurt/comfort, power imbalance, mpreg, age gap (38/23), mentions of abortion, miscarriage

Summary: After years of a mass infertility crisis, the United States is overtaken by religious fanatics, and Bucky Barnes finds himself thrust into a brutal world of survival. When he's discovered to be fertile, he's forced to serve as a vessel: a caste of omegas who bear children for the political elite.

Chapter V. Shredder

Story Masterlist

Before:

Bucky rushes to the bathroom when the cramps get too painful, sure that something bad—he doesn’t know what, just something��is going to happen. He pulls down his pants and sits on the toilet, hand pressed against his belly. He’s barely started to swell. It’s only noticeable to him because he was always in such good shape before. Twenty weeks is finally enough to make him look pregnant, at least when he has his clothes off.

“Ah!” He cries out, trying to stifle the sound as pain flashes through him. He can’t let the Putnams hear, he can’t. His insides hurt in a way that they’re definitely not supposed to, and Bucky feels scared. Even though he’s almost twenty two-years old and it’s ridiculous, he wishes that his mom was here with him. She’d know what to do. And even if she didn’t, he’d still be with his mom, not all alone in the Putnams' cold basement bathroom. 

He removes his hand from his stomach and reaches between his legs with trembling fingers. When he brings them back forward to look, there’s fresh blood. Bucky whimpers. 

Red. He’s so fucking sick of red.

-

It takes almost two hours, but eventually Bucky’s body pushes out the baby—though “baby” is a strong word for it. It’s small and bloody, the size of a lemon. And it’s shaped wrong. Bucky catches it in his hands before it can fall into the toilet water. Something about that just seems so wrong. He can’t let it go in there, even if it’s just going to be buried or thrown away in the end. For now it’s his, and he’ll treat it the way it deserves.

“Hey,” he whispers tearily to it, once the cramping’s gone away and he’s just left cold and messy and alone. He pulls his pants back up and lies down on the cool bathroom tile, using the bathmat as a sort of pillow. In his hand he cups the fetus, mournful in a way he never thought he could be for something he never wanted in the first place. “M’sorry,” he tells it. “I tried.”

He really had. Having a baby is the only way for a criminally-convicted omega like him to avoid being sent away. And he’s only got five years to do it. After eight months with the Putnams, he’d been excited to get pregnant—Not because he’d wanted to be violated and knocked-up and forced to give away a child, but because it gave him hope that he might be able to avoid the toxic wasteland of the colonies. If he can’t produce a baby for Gilead, that’s where he’ll go.

Eventually, he has to gather the courage to get himself up off the bathroom floor and cleaned off. He unrolls a bunch of toilet paper and lays the fetus on it, not knowing what else to do. Then he runs a bath and gets in, and watches as the water turns pink.

Downstairs, Commander and Mrs. Putnam are having their Sunday morning breakfast. The table’s covered with tureens of sausages and eggs and waffles—more food than the two of them will ever eat. Once they’re done, the household staff will get to split what’s left. Bucky walks into the dining room to the sight of the Commander on his tablet and Mrs. Putnam pouring herself more orange juice. He waits quietly by the doorway to be noticed.

“Ofwarren,” Mrs. Putnam says when she notices him. “Good morning! Blessed be the fruit.” Her face lights up with a smile for Bucky, something it’s only done since she found out that he’s pregnant.

Bucky can’t bring himself to speak, nerves twisting his guts into knots. 

As if he senses this, Commander Warren looks up from his tablet. “Did you want to take some breakfast from the table?” he asks amicably. 

Ever since Bucky’s pregnancy was discovered, he’s been allowed to eat as much as he wants, whenever he wants. No more waiting for prescribed meal times. It’s a privilege that he’s going to miss. “No,” he whispers. “No, thank you. I um, I have something I have to tell you.” God, he’s never been so nervous in his life. What will they do to him?

Both the Putnams are paying attention to him now. They still have pleasant sets to their faces. Not for long. “What is it?” Mrs. Putnam asks.

Bucky has to try several times before he can force enough air past his vocal cords. “I … I lost the baby.”

Complete, utter silence. Commander Warren sets his tablet down, eyes immediately flicking to his wife. Mrs. Putnam has tightened her fingers around her orange juice glass so hard that Bucky fears it might break.

“I’m so sorry!” he says hurriedly, because he is. God, he is! He’s scared shitless right now. “I-I didn’t—”

“Get out of here,” Mrs. Putnam gasps. She sounds like the air’s been punched out of her. When Bucky doesn’t immediately move, her eyes darken and she smacks the table, rattling the silverware. “Get out!”

Bucky turns and runs from the room.

-

A servant comes down to the basement later, to take the fetus away. Bucky never does find out what they do with it.

After:

Bucky takes to spending the evenings with Steve in his office. It’s nice. As the weather gets colder, Steve makes a habit of keeping a fire going in the fireplace, and each night, Bucky pulls one of the couches a little closer to the hearth to read. He goes through several science fiction novels before he finally has the courage to take down a book about politics—old politics, from how the world used to be, but still interesting. It’d been written by some liberal pundit, and Bucky finds himself smirking once or twice while he reads.

Steve looks up from where he’s working at his desk, smiling at Bucky when he notices him. “What’s funny?” he asks.

Bucky tenses up. “What? Nothing.” Steve quirks an eyebrow, and Bucky shifts uncomfortably. “It’s just a joke in here,” he excuses, indicating the book. He doesn’t mention how the joke is at the expense of Christian nationalists. The book had been written back when The Faithful were still worth making fun of. “It’s nothing,” he says again, and averts his eyes back to his reading.

Steve sighs. Bucky hears the desk chair roll out, and then Steve is coming over to sit next to him on the couch. He doesn’t get too close, which Bucky is grateful for (Commander Warren would’ve been demanding blow jobs by now). But so far, Steve has proven to be about as different from Commander Warren as a man could be. “Bucky,” Steve says. “I wish you wouldn’t be nervous of me.”

Bucky’s eyes flick over, not quite making it up to Steve’s face. “Sorry,” he murmurs.

“No, that’s not—” Steve huffs, frustrated. “You don’t need to apologize.”

Bucky has to cut himself off from immediately saying ‘sorry’ again. Old habits. He sets the book over the arm of the couch, saving his spot. “I’m not used to this,” he admits. 

“What do you mean?”

He purses his lips, still unable to meet Steve’s eyes. “I dunno. Just … You don’t get mad at me about stuff, okay? You let me come in here and, and read.” He says ‘read’ in a whisper, like it’s something awful, not to be uttered aloud. “You eat meals at the table with everyone else, and you talk to me. And you haven’t—” he cuts off uncomfortably.

“What?” Steve cants his head. “I haven’t what?”

Bucky shakes his head. “You’re just different. I don’t know what to expect with you.” He nearly jumps when Steve’s hand comes over and envelops his own on top of the couch cushion. It’s large and warm, and the simple contact makes goosebumps prick to the surface of Bucky’s skin.

 “You can expect to be treated like a human being,” Steve tells him. “Because that’s what you are.”

Bucky winces. “M’not used to that either.”

“I’dve hoped you could trust me a little better by now,” Steve chides, eyeing up Bucky’s book pointedly. “I told you my household is different.”

“Yeah but you never explained what that means,” Bucky snaps. “I mean, that could mean anything. You know?”

“What do you want to ask me, then?” Steve challenges. “You can ask questions, Bucky.”

“Well aren’t you—” he cuts himself off, shocked at the reckless question he almost lets slip through his lips.

“Aren’t I what?” Steve presses, staring him down. “Ask me, Bucky. Ask the question.”

Bucky looks him in the eye, confused and scared, unable to get the words out for a few more long seconds. Then, finally, he breathes, “... Aren’t you a True Believer?” Steve gets very still, his expression like stone, and for one terrible, all-consuming instant, Bucky is sure that he’s signed his own death warrant. “I’m sorry!” he blurts, sure that he’s finally done it; he’s finally said the thing that’s going to get him executed, or sent off to the col—

“I’m not.”

He falters, his mouth still open from the next preemptive apology he’d been about to fling out. “What?” he says weakly, trying to figure out how to put “I’m not” into a context that makes any kind of sense—because what Steve’s just said could get him arrested, could get him put to death, and Bucky and all the rest of his household reassigned to another Commander. But fraught seconds tick by, and he comes up with nothing, the “I’m not” hanging in the air between them like a baited hook with no fish, like a noose waiting to be filled. “S-steve?” he whispers. “I don’t understand. You’re n—”

“Not a True Believer,” Steve finishes for him, nodding somberly. He’s deathly serious, Bucky realizes, and he’s looking at Bucky in a way that says he’s completely aware of the vulnerable position in which he’s just put himself, by admitting it. He watches Bucky appraisingly. “And I get the feeling you’re not, either.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t have the courage that Steve does. He can’t just … just make himself say it. Not out loud. “But you’re a Commander,” he blurts. “How did you get to be a Commander if you weren’t … if you aren’t a—”

“I worked my way up,” Steve says. “I joined the Sons of Jacob before congress was assassinated. I pretended.”

Bucky can hardly believe what he’s hearing. Steve is admitting to treason right now, and he’s admitting it to Bucky. “But why?” 

Steve’s expression turns guarded as he measures out his words. “Because it was my mission,” he says. “It still is.”

“Mission?”

He nods. “We knew something big was in the works, just not how big. I didn’t know—” He cuts himself off, looking pained. “We were put in place to infiltrate the Party of The Faithful. To assess the threat, to try and stop whatever they were planning.”

“We?” Bucky echoes. “Who is ‘we’?”

Steve shakes his head. “I can’t tell you any more, I’m sorry."

Too late, Bucky wants to say. Steve’s told him too much already. “So you’re just telling me this? That you’re some kind of a … a what? A sleeper agent?” He scowls. “You and what army?”

“It doesn’t take an army,” Steve snaps, surprising Bucky with the quiet vitriol in his voice.

Bucky blinks at him, sees the regret flash across his face, and realizes something. “Natasha and Sam,” he breathes, clocking the slight widening of Steve’s pupils. “And Clint, and Sharon?” Steve’s lips thin but he nods, and Bucky exhales hugely. “Well shit.” 

“It’s okay, Buck. We’re very careful.”

He scoffs, feeling dazed. “So, all five of you,” he says weakly. He can’t imagine what Steve and just a few other people could possibly achieve, what they could possibly do to overthrow the whole regime. Gilead is the new United States. A fledgling nation, sure, but with all the same resources that its predecessor had, and more: Weapons, infrastructure, military, a secret police, an extensive surveillance apparatus. From what little Bucky’s been able to garner these past few years, the only states remaining free of it all are Alaska and the West Coast coalition.

He sits there with Steve in thick, uncomfortable silence for a moment, the crackling of the fire in the hearth the only sound to accompany his racing thoughts.

“Buck?” Steve says gently. “Are you going to be okay?”

One glance up at the alpha’s face is all it takes for Bucky to realize what it is he’s really asking: are you going to keep this to yourself? “Yeah,” Bucky says. “Yeah, I’m good.” He offers Steve what he hopes is a reassuring look. “I’m glad.”

Steve’s shoulders relax, and he offers Bucky a tight-lipped smile that is commiserating, if not altogether pleasant. “Okay. Good.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Steve pats him on the knee and then gets up from the couch to return to his desk on the other side of the office. He resumes working on his computer, and Bucky picks up his book to resume reading. Or at least he tries to, but the words on the pages blur together meaninglessly. All he can think about now is how Steve—his new Commander, the man who owns him, whom Bucky’s been renamed after—is a member of the resistance.

Steve somehow gets a hold of Bucky’s medical records. He brings it up in discussion on another night spent together in the library. “You had a baby?” he blurts out, from over at his desk.

Bucky’s eyes shoot up. “What?”

Steve guiltily indicates the folder he’s been reading through. “They gave me your medical records.”

Bucky frowns. “Oh.”

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to invade your privacy.” Bucky snorts, and Steve flusters and clears his throat. “I just … Well, I’m supposed to schedule a doctor’s appointment for you every three months.”

“Oh. Right.” Bucky remembers that the Putnams had done that as well. It was how he’d confirmed he was pregnant in the first place. “Um, I miscarried,” he mumbles.

Steve’s expression dissolves into something too close to pity for Bucky’s liking. “I’m so sorry, Bucky.”

Bucky shrugs from over his book. “I wasn’t that far along.” 

With the fertility crisis being what it is, he’s known a lot of other omegas to miscarry far later on in their pregnancies, or to give birth to non-viable babies that die gasping and shriveled soon after birth. Just the other week, all the neighborhood vessels had been escorted to OfJoseph’s house to see her through the labor and delivery ritual. But once the caretakers pulled the baby out and got a look at it, the fancy party that’d been set up for Commander and Mrs. Lowe in the downstairs parlor had ended in stricken silence and tears.

“It’s not like I was attached or anything,” Bucky says. “And it needed to die.”

Steve balks. “What?”

“It was a shredder. You could tell. Things weren’t … growing right.” Bucky averts his eyes back down to his book, hating to remember. If he’d carried to term, it just would’ve been declared an ‘unbaby’ and gotten rid of. “It was better that it died,” he says.

Steve doesn’t say anything.

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[thecglcatalog]

Toys for 'Screwing' ... in Many Senses!

This is a work of fiction describing role-play between consenting adults.

Introduce more variety to baby's little world with swap-out dildos that fit ALL screw-threaded items in our catalogue!  Made to stand up to the very roughest playtime sessions, our proprietary drop-forged screw fittings create a rigid connection between each toy and its adapter ... like those on each end of our Dildo Pole, the seat of our Security Swings, and more!

Guaranteed to stay connected for a minimum of 48 hours of continuous use ... though our customers tell us the toys need no tightening for weeks at a time.

Human.  Cast from molds of real people for perfect proportions and intimate texture, these incredibly detailed silicone toys have a skinlike texture over a super-solid core.  It's penetration with an all-natural touch.

Specify size: 4-inch, 6-inch, 9-inch, 12-inch.

Specify color: Light Skin, Medium Skin, Dark Skin, Darkest Skin, Shell Pink, Sky Blue, Rubber Duck.

Canine.  Slightly exaggerated from real bestial proportions, our canine screw-in dildos have three different textures: a rigid base, a slightly more flexible shaft tapering to a flared point, and a pleasant spring-back silicone at the knot.  This bouncy feel keeps the subtly oversized knot from numbing baby's most sensitive spots during a lengthy play session.

Specify size: 6-inch, 9-inch, 14-inch, NEW 2-inch Micro.

Specify color: Irish Setter, Chocolate Lab, Black and Tan Hound, Mottled Strawberry Pink, Mottled Sky Blue, Pure White.

Ribbed. Smooth bands of projecting material give a pleasant rhythm as they slip inside the body.  Made from our firmest silicone, this toy gives splendid friction while maintaining a smooth, washable surface so cleanup is easy for Mommy, Daddy, or Caregiver.

Specify size: 3-inch Beehive, 7-inch, 10-inch, 13-inch.

Specify color: Shell Pink, Sky Blue, Rubber Duck, Pastel Jade, Pure White, Jet Black.

Beaded. Hundreds and hundreds of tiny bumps adorn a subtly curved cylinder for the most intrusive experience!  We recommend purchasing our Dildo Spin Cylinder for adequate cleaning ... but it's well worth it for the impossible-to-miss friction, ideal for wakefulness training or for babies who get overly wet and slippery.  An ideal punishment dildo with possibilities for everyday play, too.

Specify size: 4-inch, 8-inch, 12-inch, NEW 16-inch Very Bad Day size.

Specify color: Rubber Duck, Pastel Jade, Jet Black.

Novelty.  Fun little toys for the best of thematic pretend play with your captive adult baby.

Corn Cob.  Dozens of bumps make for a fun farm-themed or Thanksgiving Dinner playtime.  Because the screw adapter is set into a long base slightly smaller than the cob, the textured length is fully insertable!  Note: Do not use this toy without an adapter attached, as it can easily become lost inside baby's body.  Size: 9 inches insertable, 11 inches total.  Color: Rubber Duck.

Light Bulb.  A bright idea for a very different session!  Clear, squishy silicone surrounds a glow-in-the-dark "wire" core.  Enjoy the challenge of packing the round bulb inside, then experience the drag of compressible material as it comes back out.  Size: 6 inches.  Color: Translucent.

Holiday Light.  Similar to our Light Bulb, but with a narrower overall profile and a slender point.  The perfect introduction toy to place in baby's Christmas stocking when the Light Bulb is coming for Valentine's Day!  Size: 6 inches.  Color: specify Translucent Red or Translucent Green.

Hot Dog.  Take a pretend trip to the county fair!  With a firm silicone sausage enclosed by a softer, springier bun, this tasty coney makes for a unique texture experience in baby's bottom.  Set up a "condiment bar" of lube and chemical-play substances and let baby prepare their 'dog to their liking!  Size: 10 inches.  Color: Light Skin bun and Mottled Strawberry Pink hot dog.

Add Variety with More Screw Adapters

Our screw-adapter toys easily and firmly unite to any of these hand-held bases, perfect for travel and for adding variety to the toy box!

Grasping Handle.  Inspired by the easy grip of bicycle handlebars, this loop of sturdy steel tubing with its comfortable foam handle takes the strain out of long fucking sessions for the caregiver's wrist.

Dildo Pole.  Included with many of our nursery-furniture setups, this 30-inch pole with screw adapters on both ends is also just handy to have around the nursery.

Teething Ring Vibrator.  A powerful vibrating motor is attached to the screw-in port and connected to a heavy-duty teething ring by a cut-resistant silicone cord wrap.  The squeeze of your hand or the pressure of baby's mouth signal the motor to start rumbling away below!  Teething ring may be taped into the mouth with duct tape.  Specify color: Strawberry Pink, Translucent Green.

Wall Bolt.  Install a screw-in dildo port into any wall stud at the right height for your little pet.  Pack of 2.

[fryingpan1234567]

I have a new favorite ship in Empires and it’s just because of ONE POST by @this-tumbleweed-surecan-fish (yeah it’s that easy to give me a new OTP just ONE POST)

so here have some ship and normal character headcanons in my Empires college au because there is one piece of writing about them out there and it was a short post. literally fuck me

Pix, Joel, Lizzie, and fWhip. that’s the ship. I can’t believe this.

Joel is the tallest out of them and fWhip is the shortest

fWhip and Lizzie are really good at talking and Pix and Joel are really good at listening

They all have ADHD

When they’re in public they usually pretend to be two separate couples because the public isn’t exactly used to polyamory, and none of them are really ‘BE LOUD AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!’ people

Lizzie, Pix, and fWhip are all like parents to Hermes (that kid has literally five parental units what)

Speaking of Hermes!! The rest of them know of and are perfectly fine with Sausage, and he and Joel adopt Hermes one day because they find him on the streets and they couldn’t just leave him there, so. ✨child✨

fWhip and Pix are cave bros and love dark/ tight spaces, but Lizzie and Joel hate them

Pix does photography!!

And Joel does bouldering and climbing

As per Fish‘s post, they call each other gf/ bf/ wife/ husband even tho they don’t actually get married lol

Hermes made friends with one of the dodos in the orchard one day when Pix was watching him and now they’re besties; it’s like Disney Hercules and Pegasus

With that plus Lizzie’s zoology; fWhip’s cave creatures, and Sanctuary’s whole deal, he grows up to be a huge animal person

Anyways moving away from Hermes lmao

All of them flirt so aggressively help

MAKING FUN OF JIMMY TOGETHER

If they’re out and someone asks Lizzie if she’s there with anyone, because the four of them are hanging out together, they’ll all just laugh until the guy gets freaked out and leaves

They all get their hair dyed at least a little bit- Lizzie (obviously) goes all pink, Joel has his green stripe, and then Pix gets a navy blue one and fWhip does full teal and green until the roots grow back in orange. The idea was started because Lizzie was getting hers redone and asked if they wanted to participate (her kitten eyes were like a fucking off switch on their strength of will)

Everyone thinks Pix is the responsible one. He’s not. He’s just as crazy as the other three

Lizzie has dubbed herself mayor of all the pets in their dorm building, Joel drinks sketchy protein shakes with all normal ingredients other than a splash of water from the fountain outside the Historical Mythology building, fWhip reads hanging off the couch upside down like a fucking bat. Pix seems normal enough on the surface, but my man single-handedly discovered a new species of fruit trees in 3 variants, a thought to be extinct species, and a machine that’s been around since the beginning of time, and he considers emerald ore to be worth more than his life. He’s pretty far from ‘normal’

Pix runs the campus news channel, and his partners find it adorable and also kind of worrying when they walk into the living room at two in the morning for water to see Pix sitting on the floor, surrounded by stacks of paper and two laptops, three cups of coffee and one of tea, and him in the middle wearing sweats and one of Joel’s shirts/ no top if he couldn’t find any, scrambling to get the next weekly episode out. Once he had to record the voiceover around Hermits, and they harassed him the whole time and threw pencils when he made a bad joke

Lizzie and Pix got American driver’s licenses, but Joel insisted that ‘he was loyally British and he liked being British and unless America changed their shtewpid driving habits, he’d have the rest of them drive him around the whole time’

Dishes never get done in their household I swear to god

Uno/ board games/ video games are a fucking nightmare because they’re all scarily competitive

They like sleeping in one bed, but sometimes it’s too hot for that so there is two beds

They actually do go on trips!! It’s like a thing for birthdays and stuff that they’re taken somewhere

For example, they took Lizzie to the San Diego zoo, fWhip to the Carlsbad Caverns, Pix to the Smithsonian, and Joel to the Parthenon

When one of them is sick, they have a whole lot of simping from the rest of them

fWhip and Lizzie have morning classes, Pix and Joel have late ones (that usually means the first two are making/ getting dinner while the other two are in class)

Anyways. Them <33

[fattest-disney-characters]

One evening night at outside Apartment Building of Southern United States, An 5’5” 43yrs old orange ponytails, unfree-spirited chubbiest body woman name Anna, Anna waddled on sidewalk waddle way home after finishing working at her shift. Anna may be changed from seven years. Anna got pudgiest fat face, triple chin, her Breast are already that fat that they start to burst Out of her messy tank top just unlike her chubbiest single belly flops over. Her fat wide thighs Always Stick together, her fat barefoot are no longer need shoes or boots except socks and slippers. Her big fat Ass gives her pink underwear a wedge and barley fit her ripped jeans. Fattest arms, cinnamon-buns hands, sausage fingers. Anna place cigarette to her lips and sucked in deeply. Moving it away she let out a long breath of smoke as wanted to get home spending time with her big sister/now girlfriend, Elsa and maybe get some shuteye. Anna had white strips on her messy ponytail, few wrinkles and big eyebags, Anna weights 4,847lbs

The inside of the apartament was a complete mess with trash bags at the door waiting to be take to the dumpster, in the kitchen was Anna older sister, a 44 years old woman named Elsa. Elsa had changed as well, her obese body barely fit in the pajamas as her ass cheeks are bigger than yoga balls, her breast is double D and rest on top of her belly

[furball-for-a-head]

[Image ID : A map of Europe by Atlasova @atlasova.world, titled "How do you say zero fucks given in different European languages?" The countries, colour coded accordingly, are as follows :

Green - Food related :

Spain : I care a cucumber

Germany : It's sausage to me

Austria : This is blood pudding to me

Romania, Moldova : I don't give a frostbitten onion

Russia : It's horseradish to me

Azerbaijan: I don't give a nut

Estonia : I have Estonian dessert powder two

Brown - Anal related :

Portugal : I'm pooping on this

Netherlands : It can oxidise on my ass

Poland : I care about it as shit

Czech Republic : I have it in my ass

Latvia : On my ass

Finland : It interests me as much as a kilogram of shit

Brazil : I'm pooping and walking

Purple - Animal related :

Norway: I give a cat

Denmark : It bothers me like a cardboard duck

Hungary : Even the dog is uninterested

USA : I don't give a rat's ass

Pink - Sex related :

United Kingdom : Zero fucks given

France : I beat my balls

Italy : It doesn't rub a dick to me

Sicily : Why the door of my dick

Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Serbia, Montenegro : My dick hurts

Kosovo, Macedonia : My dick doesn't hurt me at all

Bulgaria : It hurts me in the lighthouse

Turkey, Armenia : Not on my dick

Georgia : It can hang on my balls

Pink and Purple - Animal and sex related:

Greece : Flowers on my dick and bees all around

Red - Other :

Iceland : Give me more news of the capelin

Basque Country (Spain) : Five of them

Slovakia : I cough on it

Ukraine : I snooze on it

Israel : It interests my grandma

Grey - Places where fucks are given

Sweden, Lithuania, Belarus, Albania, Kazakhstan

End ID]

Mediterranean apathy metaphors

[jeanjauthor]

Ironically, sausage is usually made out of (lightliy) seasoned pork...which is basically what spam is, only sausage is often more heavily seasoned, while spam is far more finely ground. Like, all the way into a paste, which is then stuffed into the tin, sealed, and cooked. Sausage is much more coarsely ground, and shaped into patties or stuffed into casing to make links, which are then chilled, frozen, smoked, dried, etc.

So, even though bacon is usually made out of pork (it can be made out of other things!), it has the least amount of seasoning (may or may not be smoked, salted, and/or peppered)...the "Eggs & Bacon" option is the LEAST spam-y thing on that menu.

...Also, according to my research online, the Spam Sketch aired December 15th, 1970 (before I was born!). On that day, the conversion rate between the Gret British Pound and the United States Dollar was 1 GBP = 2.389502 USD (I have no idea why its value decimals are so long).

So that 35 pounds back them was 83.63(257) dollars.

In today's money, that would be $675.83.

Heckin' expensive Lobster Thermidore!

For comparison, the Eggs & Bacon, at 1.10 pounds, would have been 2.63 dollars in 1970 at that exchange rate, which today would come out to be... $21.25...?

Blimey, even just eggs & bacon was expensive back then!

(...I think they were subsidizing the Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Baked Beans Spam Spam Spam and Spam.)

(Also if anyone is curious, pederson farms had this to say about non-pork bacon: " Simply put, beef bacon is a variation of regular bacon made from beef rather than pork. Pork bacon is generally made from sliced pork belly. Like traditional bacon, beef bacon can also be made from the beef belly. However, it can also be made from the brisket or round for leaner options. " You can also technically make it out of the belly meat of deer for venison bacon, and I am sure there are mutton variants, too.)

(Lastly, according to SPAM's website, it is made of just 6 ingredients: pork (with ham), salt, water, potato starch, sugar, and sodium nitrite (a preservative salt that gives the meat its distinctive pink hue as well as imparting its own touch of flavor).)

(via the Monty Python fan group over on Facebook)

[menuandprice]

Greggs Menu With Prices [March 2023 Updated]

Greggs is a well-known British chain of bakeries with its headquarters at Newcastle upon Tyne, England. The bakery is best known for serving some delicious food like sausage rolls, wraps, and breakfast bacon along with some refreshing coffee and other beverages. The Greggs menu with prices is also reasonable enough for each customer. The Greggs menu is inclusive of some mouth-watering delicacies starting from sausage rolls, salads, appetizers, sausage breakfast baguettes, and wraps, along with some drinks like latte, coffee, and more. At the bakery-cum café, you get to enjoy the finest of Greggs breakfast and pair it up with a refreshing beverage to keep you good for the day. The Greggs price list is equally attractive as its scrumptious food. This article highlights the real Greggs menu and prices so that when you find a ‘Greggs near me’, you have prior knowledge about their menu prices.

Greggs Menu With Prices

Breakfast Menu Prices Bacon Breakfast Roll £1.75 Sausage Breakfast Roll £1.75 Omelette Breakfast Roll £1.75 Bacon and Omelette Breakfast Roll £1.85 Bacon and Sausage Breakfast Roll £1.85 Sausage and Omelette Breakfast Roll £1.85 Bacon Breakfast Baguette £2.50 Sausage Breakfast Baguette £2.50 Omelette Breakfast Baguette £2.50 Bacon and Omelette Breakfast Baguette £2.60 Bacon and Sausage Breakfast Baguette £2.60 Sausage and Omelette Breakfast Baguette £2.60 Bacon and Cheese Wrap £1.65 Simply Creamy Porridge £1.00 Golden Syrup Porridge £1.00 Apple & Cinnamon Porridge £1.00 Also Check The Latest Pret A Manger Menu With Prices UK Savouries & Bakes Menu Prices Sausage Roll £0.96 Vegan Sausage Roll £0.96 Steak Bake £1.50 Chicken Bake £1.44 Sausage, Bean & Cheese Melt £1.38 Vegan Sausage, Bean & Cheeze Melt £1.45 Beef & Vegetable Pasty £1.30 Margherita Pizza £0.85 Pepperoni Pizza £0.85 Also Check The Latest Bagel Nash Menu And Prices in UK Drinks Menu Prices Regular Americano £1.50 Large Americano £1.75 Regular Cappuccino £1.75 Large Cappuccino £2.00 Regular Latte £1.75 Large Latte £2.00 Regular Mocha £1.75 Large Mocha £2.00 Regular White Coffee £1.50 Large White Coffee £1.75 regular Hot Chocolate £1.65 Large Hot Chocolate £1.90 Regular Tea £1.00 Large Tea £2.00 Also Check The Latest Gourmet Burger Kitchen Menu Prices UK Sweet Treats Menu Prices Caramel Custard Doughnut £ 0.95 Pink Jamie Doughnut £ 0.95 Triple Chocolate Doughnut £0.95 Yum Yum £0.85 Cream Eclair £1.15

History of Greggs

Greggs is one of the most loved bakery-cum-cafés in the United Kingdom. Starting from regulars to travelers, Greggs is a destination that assures to make you fall in love with its delicious menu. The Greggs sausage rolls price is the main charmer besides the prices of Greggs pizza, soups, salads, and other mouth-watering eatables. The first Greggs store came up in 1939 in Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne, England. The founder John Gregg started it as a Tyneside bakery with the simple intention to deliver fresh eggs and yeast to the neighborhood families through a pushbike. Over the year, Greggs has acquired several other bakery brands and expanded its reach. After the death of John, Gregg was under the guidance of his son Ian. Since its inception, Gregg’s has expanded its location in several United Kingdom States. Gregg’s takes pride in serving the most delicious pizza, sausage rolls, and much more. Currently, Gregg’s is over 2000 locations across the United Kingdom. The brand has implemented several services through the years like a drive-thru, delivery services, outlets, moment stores, etc to make the bakery even more approachable to customers. Starting from Gregg’s pizza price to Gregg’s soup price, everything at Gregg’s is value for money. Also, Gregg’s drink prices are suitable for all be its students or commuters.

Review of Greggs

The Gregg’s hours of operation vary from location to location, however, at most Gregg’s locations Greggs open at 6 am and close at around 10 pm. Gregg’s breakfast prices are affordable and are available in the early hours. The Gregg’s lunch can be enjoyed from 12 pm onwards and you can dine in the bakery after 5 pm. The Gregg’s menu is inclusive of breakfast rolls, sausage rolls, wraps, pizza slices, doughnuts, baguettes, and much more. At Gregg’s, you can enjoy a fine breakfast having options like bacon roll, omelet roll, bacon and sausage roll, sausage and omelet baguette, bacon and cheese wrap, croissants, porridge, and the like. Don’t forget to try their mouth-watering savory snack items that you just can’t stop having. Starting from steak bake, sausage cheese, and bean melt, margarita pizza, to beef and vegetable pasty, Gregg’s offers you the best of food. You can order a single slice of pizza as Gregg’s pizza slice price is also reasonable looking into the amazing product they serve. At affordable Gregg’s drinks prices, the café offers you the most refreshing beverages like mocha, coffee, caramel latte, hot chocolate, peppermint tea, and many others. Gregg’s coffee price is also worth every penny. Here you can have a wonderful time be it with friends or colleagues. Over the years Gregg’s menu prices have evolved as per their customer reviews. Also Check The Latest Wagamama Menu And Prices UK

How to Order Online from Greggs Menu in Few Steps?

If you want to order online from Greggs then you can follow the steps given below where I have discussed how you can order online from Greggs using just eat. You can also check the menu prices of Greggs by following the same method below as the prices may vary from location to location. - First, head over to Just Eat and enter your pin code. - If any Greggs restaurant delivers to your location it will appear where you can select the restaurant. - After selecting the restaurant, the full list of Greggs’ menu prices will be displayed. - Now, select all the food items that you want to order online and add them to your cart. - In the next step, go to checkout and login to your account if you have one or you can also checkout as a guest. - Fill in some details and go to the payment option where you can make the payment and confirm your order.

Greggs Contact Information & Important Links

Official Website greggs.co.uk Greggs Menu Check Here Greggs Careers Check Here Greggs Gift Cards Check Here Greggs Locations Check Here Greggs Nutritional Information Check Here Greggs Order Online Order Here

Social Media Handles

Facebook Visit Now Instagram Visit Now Twitter Visit Now

Greggs Contact Info

Greggs Corporate Office Address Quorum Business Park, Newcastle upon Tyne NE12 8BU Greggs Phone Number 01912817721 Greggs Contact Page/Form Visit Now

Conclusion

For over 80 years, Gregg’s has been serving the natives of the United Kingdom and indeed has become the heartthrob of the nation. The bakery-cum-café has truly changed the taste of the country and its people. It is one of the largest bakery chains in the UK and is widely loved for its outstanding menu and prices. So what do you think about Greggs menu with prices that have been discussed in detail above? Kindly share your thoughts with me in the comment section below.

Frequently Asked Questions Related to Greggs (FAQs)

Who founded Greggs? John Gregg of the United Kingdom initially started Greggs. How much is a sausage roll from Greggs? A sausage roll from Gregg’s is priced between £0.96-£2. How much is a Greggs’s pizza? A Gregg’s pizza price starts from £0.85. How much are Greggs’s pasties? The Gregg’s pasties price varies from £0.96- £2. What is Greggs coffee price? Gregg’s coffee price is between £1.25- £3. Who owns Greggs? Greggs was founded by John Gregg. How many Greggs are there in the UK? There are more than 2,078 outlets of Greggs operating across the UK. The post Greggs Menu With Prices appeared first on Everymenuprices. Read the full article

[koothichimin]

Rich In Protien

Pork is hog meat harvested between the ages of six months and one year. The finest pork is grayish pink in color, firm and finely grained, well-marbled, and covered on the outside with a layer of firm white fat. Approximately 30% of the flesh is consumed as cooked fresh meat, while the remainder is cured or smoked for bacon and ham, used in sausage, and rendered to produce lard. Because pigs can contract the parasitic disease trichinosis, pork must be cooked to an internal temperature of 160 °F (71 °C) to destroy the disease-causing organism.The amount of edible flesh produced by pork carcasses is assessed. In the United States, where specific cuts are not evaluated, a U.S. Number 1 carcass has the best fat-to-lean ratio; Numbers 2, 3, and 4 have a higher proportion of fat, reducing the amount of lean. Utility-grade pork, which is sometimes obtained from older animals, has bad fat and is less firm. The most popular pig parts are hams, spareribs, loin roasts and chops, bellies, picnic shoulders, and shoulder butts.Pork is a versatile meat that is consumed all around the world. Pork, on the other hand, is virtually non-existent in the cuisines of the Middle East and several indigenous civilizations in Asia and Africa since it is prohibited by Judaism and Islam's dietary rules. The top four pork-consuming countries are Germany, Denmark, Poland, and Austria (in terms of per capita consumption).Spareribs are fresh swine loin, leg, and rib sections that are commonly roasted in Western cooking. Grilled or pan-fried loin and rib chops are popular preparations. A spit-roasted whole newborn piglet, or suckling pig, is a delicacy in Central and Eastern Europe; wild pigs have traditionally been prepared in the same way around the Pacific.

 Less desirable parts of the carcass, such as ears, tails, hocks, feet, and brains, as well as the fatty portions of the back of the carcass (fatback), may be cooked with various greens, especially in the southern United States; despite its origins in the economic necessity, this distinct style of pork cookery has an important place in American regional cuisine. Get the Best Quality Pork At Family Mart UaeNutritional Information and Health BenefitsIt is the most often consumed red meat in the world, notably in Eastern Asia, yet it is forbidden in other religions, like Islam and Judaism.As a result, pork is forbidden in many Islamic countries.It is most usually consumed raw, but cured (preserved) pig products are also popular. Examples include smoked pork, ham, bacon, and sausages.Lean pork is abundant in protein and vitamins and minerals, making it an excellent addition to a healthy diet.Pork proteinPork, like other meats, is mostly protein.Lean, cooked pork has a protein level of about 26% by fresh weight.When dried, lean pork contains a protein content of up to 89 percent, making it one of the most protein-rich meals (1Trusted Source).It contains all nine essential amino acids needed for your body's growth and upkeep. Beef is one of the most complete protein sources.As a consequence, eating pig — or other types of pork — may be especially beneficial for bodybuilders, recovering athletes, those recovering from surgery, and anybody who wants to create or mend muscles.Pig fatPig fat content varies.Pork fat percentage is normally 10-16% (2), although it can be significantly higher depending on the level of trimming and other variables.Clarified pig fat, often known as lard, is used in cooking on occasion.Pork, like other types of red meat, is largely made up of saturated and unsaturated fats in roughly equal amounts.A cooked, ground pork 3.5-ounce (100-gram) meal, for example, has 7.7 grams of saturated fat, 9.3 grams of monounsaturated fat, and 1.9 grams of polyunsaturated fat (1Trusted Source).Pork flesh has a different fatty acid composition than ruminant meats like beef and lamb.

[starrywinters]

7 Minutes!AU — Park Jihoon Fic

requested by anon!

genre: fluff

synopsis: both jihoon and you secretly loves each other, both of you are oblivious to the other’s feelings but everyone else can clearly see it, and you don’t confess until you play 7 minutes in heaven.

Ever heard of the saying, “A guy and a girl can be best friends and stay as best friends”? Yeah, that’s a lie. One will bound to fall for the other, if not maybe both will fall for each other. Sometimes at the right time, sometimes at the wrong.

“Hey Y/N! Mommy said we kiss the one we love when we’re older. So. when we’re older, I’m definitely going to give you many many kisses!” Stretches his arms as far as he can to emphasize his point.

That was said by a five-year-old Park Jihoon, your childhood friend since diapers. The one who is always there to mend your pain away and sooth your anger.

–

“LEE DAEHWI. YOU LIL-” You began, stomping your feet and splashing droplets of water everywhere, sentence cutting off as Jihoon pulls you into a hug. You wetting his entire self in the process. It was just like any other day where Lee Daehwi, your best friend, would pull a prank on you. One time it was tampering with your alarm clock, another time with a caramel ONION. Yes, onion, instead of an apple he used an onion.

This time, a bucket of water and a classroom door was involved. You can already guess what happened. You opened the door to your first period class and the whole bucket of water fell. On you. Not on Jihoon, who was standing beside you the whole time. No, it fell on you.

Already a Senior in high school, Daehwi has still not grown out of his childish side. Sinking yourself more fully into Jihoon’s warm embrace, you slowly calm down. The thought of getting revenge on Daehwi at the back of your mind. Standing at the doorway, your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck, someone can be heard clearing their throat behind you. Bae Jinyoung, Daehwi’s accomplice in most of his pranks and Daehwi’s #1 best friend.

Grinning, waggling his eyebrows, and winking at you two, “Hey lovebirds, stop blocking the doorway and keep your PDA indoors please.”

Never separating from your hug, “Shut up Jinyoung, you and Daehwi got her mad again. When will you two stop?” He pats your head slowly, lulling you into a sleep. But at the same time, it isn’t helping your situation as your heart begins to pound against your chest harder and faster. Yes, you have a mAJOr crush on Park Jihoon, your childhood best friend. What a surprise.

“Dunno, maybe never?” Seeing that you aren’t paying attention to them anymore he mutters to Jihoon, “We’re doing this for your sake bro, let us live a little. These are the only chances where you are bold enough to hug Y/N. When will you confess to her?”

Unfortunately for Jihoon, that was when you came back to the real world, finally separating from Jihoon’s hug. “Confess what? And to who?”

“N-nothing! Jinyoung is just saying nonsensical things like he usually does, le-let’s go to class, the bell’s about to ring.”

–

The bell rang as lunch period began

Literally stomping to your table, Jihoon right behind you, you see Daehwi sitting with Jinyoung, chatting very animatedly. ’Hah, not anymore you little devil.’ Wringing the collar of his shirt in your hands, “LEE DAEHWI. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP WITH THE DAMN PRANKS. IT’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.”

And here comes Jihoon, your personal teddy bear. Bringing you into another hug, you hiding your face in the crook of his neck again, slowly calming down your anger and breathing. During that whole process of you trying trying to calm down, your stomach growls. Loudly. To hide from further embarrassment, you dig your face further into Jihoon’s neck and curl yourself up, practically sitting on his lap.

Across from you sits Jinhwi, witnessing everything, “Eewww, guys, please. I feel like throwing up.” Dramatically, ”Jinyoung, take me to the restroom.”

“You can go yourself, you have legs.” And he indulges himself with his slice of pizza, ignoring the nonstop blabbering to the right of him. Offended, he turns to you and Jihoon, but ends up staying mum since you were still sitting on Jihoon’s lap as he’s hugging you. Daehwi knew you were still mad, so he proposes a compromise.

“Ok so Y/N, i’m sorry I pulled another prank on you, this will be the last time. I promise. So to make it up to you– HEY! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!??1”

Repositioning yourself so you’re facing him, head against Jihoon’s chest, you glare at him. If glares could kill, Daehwi would’ve been long gone already. “What?”

“As I was saying, to make up for my childish actions, i’m inviting you to the party I got invited to last period. It’s this Saturday at Kang Daniel’s place. You know, the popular jock?” As expected of the ever friendly chatterbox Lee Daehwi.

Closing your eyes, you feel Jihoon’s grip tighten around you (be it unconsciously or not, you really liked it) and you focus on the vibrations as he talks, “I don’t know Daehwi, Y/N doesn’t do parties. You know that.”

“Ok but, just give this one a chance. You can leave early if you don’t like it, but at least stay there for 5 minutes? C’mon! It’s senior year, please?”

–

’Curse Daehwi and his cuteness. Evil otter lookalike.’ Were the thoughts that ran through your head as you stood outside your door, pouting, waiting for Jihoon to arrive. Wherever you go, Jihoon goes. You dragged him with you to the party since you didn’t want to be alone, plus you needed a savior if ever Daehwi or Jinyoung comes up with something fishy at the party. Which they will do, you can feel it.

“I don’t get it, why do I have to be here,” childishly stomping your feet, you complain to Jihoon.

Jihoon chuckling, “Because you fell for Daehwi’s cute acts. Like always.” Shaking his head in amusement.

“lisTEN, you do too ok?? Don’t target only mE.”

–

Knocking on the front door of captain of the dance team, Kang Daniel, you were let in and greeted by him. You can tell he’s a teeny bit tipsy as he leaned in to give you a hug, but you don’t even know him?? Jealous, Jihoon drags you away and closer to him. In the back, he can see Daehwi giggling to Jinyoung. Narrowing his eyes at them. ’Now, what is their motive?’

Yes, this isn’t their first time trying to set him up with you. They’ve been trying ever since they’ve met the both of you, almost giving up as they felt discouraged since they were getting nowhere. But once they found the both of you are actually really in love with each other, their motivation skyrocketed.

Throughout the night, Daniel and a few other guys consecutively tries to approach you, to get you to have a few drinks with them. Most of the time, Jihoon’s the one rejecting the offers, rarely do you ever get a chance to say (not like you’ll ever accept anyway).

Other than that, you actually had fun. Jihoon didn’t, he spent majority of the time glaring guys off.

A few minutes later, Daehwi bounces towards your direction, yelling out, “HEY Y/N, JIHOON! LET’S GO PLAY A GAME WITH THE OTHERS, JINYOUNG’S ALREADY THERE SAVING US A SPOT.” Pulling on your right arm and Jihoon’s left, “C’MON LET’S GO!”

–

And that’s how you found yourself sitting on the floor in a bedroom with many other people, staring at the spinning bottle on the floor. You still don’t understand the point of this game, ’what’s the name of it again? 7 minus oven? What? What kind of-.’

The first round’s pair was chosen, Ong Seongwoo and Kang Daniel (ONGNIEL(((;). They came out 7 minutes later, hair and clothes disheveled. What the heck is this game? Lost, you look to your right, where Jihoon sat. Understanding your confused gaze, he shrugs. ’I don’t know either Y/N.’

–

Your heart was beating rapidly, your breath hitching. You felt dizzy, nervous, your palms are sweaty. You’re pretty sure if the lights were on, the bright pink that dusted your cheeks can be easily seen. How you ended up here? You were chosen by the bottle for the third round, the other person you’re not sure who.

“H-hey, I’m Y/N. What’s your name?” Hoping to start a conversation and not do what the previous pairs did, you ask for the identity of the other person.

You feel movement, shifting closer and closer to you. He pulls you into a hug, at first you panic. Thrashing in his hold, trying to get out, but once you recognized the warmth the body radiated and the feel of the body you stop. What didn’t stop, however, was your beating heart. And that is where you are now.

You feel another set of heart beats, coming from the person who is currently holding you. “Jihoon? Why’re you holding onto me?”

“Because I don’t know when the next chance I’ll get to bravely hold you in my arms is. I’m a coward, I’m not able to hug you in broad daylight or for no reason. I want to do this now to get everything over with. Y/N, you’re literally the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. You were there for me when we were young, you never left me. Even when I was going through that phase where I stayed away from you for a few weeks because you had cooties -feeling offended, “NO I DID NOT, YOU HAD COOTIES NOT ME”- You dealt with the pain in the butt I am, and you dealt with my terrible fashion sense. Thank you for being my best friend, but I don’t think I can stay a ‘best friend’ anymore. I’ve fallen for you, hard. I’m in love with you, since 6th grade actually, and I want to take this to the next level, if you’ll let me. So, Y/N, will you agree to date this pink-colored loving boy and do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?”

Taking a few minutes to gather your thoughts and keep your heart from leaping out in joy, he nervously smiles awaiting your response.

“I-i yes! YES! I will, I’ve been in love with you since 6th grade too, when you first came to school dressed in pink. Not giving a care to what others thought about you and how you kept moving on, always trying to make me happy by hugging me to calm me down. So, yes, I will date you and I will be your boyfriend.”

Leaning further into the hug you look up at him, leaning up closer you initiate the first move. Slowly moving forward, you peck him slightly on the lips–and that is when the door opens.

Bae Jinyoung is stood there, grinning like he won the lottery, “Oho, what’s this? Are you two finally together?” Speeding off towards Daehwi, he screams, “DAEHWI! DAEHWI! HWIIIIIII, I WON THE BET, PAY UP BRO!”

Upset, you chase after him (Jihoon once again on your tail) “YAH! BAE JINYOUNG, LEE DAEHWI, YOU BETTED ON US?!?!???”

–

Sitting on Jihoon’s laps, the amount of PDA done intensifies. This time it’s more romantically than platonically. Small and short kisses were being stolen from time to time, staring into each other’s eyes were happening more often, and playing with each other’s fingers became a small competitive game between the both of you.

“GUYs, where is the gratefulness?? We don’t deserve this diSRESPECT especially since we helped get you two together.”

“YES JINYOUNG IS RIGHT, ALSO STOP FLIRTING IN FRONT OF US. MY EYES ARE BURNING.”

“Shut up Daehwi, you’re just jealous Jinyoung hasn’t asked you out yet.” (JINHWI(((((;)

“i-”

unedited!

y’all i typed this at 4AM and i kind of squealed, giggled, and smiled (very widely) as i typed this story…uhM like my heart??? was?? melting???? and i need to stOP???

anyway! i hope you like it! ♡

[jihoneytrash]

PINK SAUSAGE UNIT

[park-woojinah-blog]

God bless Pink Sausage Unit follows me where ever I go

[daehwisdays]

day 9 inktober is 2park bc i was feeling soft for their love/hate bromance

[minsugagal]

Woojin “jeojjang-ing” Jihoon into his heart. 

ever-charismatic park woojin (trans)